‘Tis the Season to Be…

Written by Ken Chin on December 20, 2009 – 12:00 pm -

Once again, we are in the midst of the holiday season. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, to deck the halls, to sing Christmas carols, to give and receive gifts. ‘Tis the season most loved by merchants. With the proverbial dollar signs in their eyes, these captains of industry profit from the dreams of children, lovingly catered to by doting parents. Commercials play right into the desires of women looking to impress that special someone with the latest stunning fashion. And then, there are those well-deserved cutting-edge, high-tech stereos and big screen TV’s earned and purchased by over-worked husbands, slaves to gruelling 12-hour days at the office. And to placate the wives who have suffered through many dinners-for-one, exquisite pieces of jewelry are bought, hopefully impressive enough to make them forget the countless lonely evenings. The baby Jesus was given gifts of gold, incense and myrrh at his birth by the Magi from the east (Matthew 2:11). The adult Jesus, the son of God, gave the ultimate gift, the opportunity for eternal life to those who would become his disciples. To do this, he lay down his own life on the cross (John 15:13; 1 John 3:16). What greater gift can we give to others than the “laying down” of our own life? Self-denial purposed to teach the lost the good news, to disciple growth in spiritual character, to inspire married couples to true, scriptural marital bliss and to nurture younger disciples on to maturity. These gifts do not perish, spoil, or fade. They have eternal impact! My wife Cheryl and I are truly grateful for the gifts of friendship and discipleship so warmly extended to us by Andrew & Patrique Smellie. We still remember our first encounter with this inspiring couple. It was late one evening, when Andrew & Patrique on their way to DC for a retreat, drove over an hour out of their way to meet with us at our home in Magnolia, Delaware. We were grateful for the visit and the time spent eating, talking, and praying. This encounter made an incredible impact on our lives as Andrew and Patrique lovingly yet boldly called us to leave our home and move to DC to join the Washington, DC International Christian Church. So obvious was our need for discipleship and fellowship with unified, sold-out disciples! Our hearts recognized that the Smellies were sent by God to rescue us. How could we not accept the challenge to move? It was, by no means, an easy decision to make. We owned a home and Cheryl had within the previous two years, opened her own pediatric practice. Our two sons were comfortable with their schools, our older son Kyle in an excellent special-needs program for autism, our younger son Kevyn also excelling in school. In addition, our boys lived a mere eight minutes away from their best friends and I was part of a thriving dental practice on the Eastern Shore, over two hours away from DC! Our family had originally moved to Delaware to be close to some very dear friends, our friendship spanning the greater part of 20 years. The Church in Delaware, despite its small membership, lacked close relationships, zeal for God, and a Kingdom mindset. It became apparent that the members of this particular mission team, previously planted by the former Washington DC Church of Christ, were more concerned with acquiring wealth and upgrading and remodeling their homes than on building God’s house. Outright and unmistakable idolatry was the all-too-apparent standard! Our family finally decided to part ways with the Delaware Church of Christ when the minister agreed to marry a couple without even knowing whether the young man was a disciple or not. I had confronted those who carried the title of “leadership” and they were unconcerned, lacking any indication of alarm. There was sadly, a total absence of indignation within the membership, over the unscriptural direction of the Minister for his church. After existing for months in this materialistic, self-preserving religious culture but being unwilling to conform to its worldly patterns, we realized that staying would mean certain spiritual death. As a father, I had to consider the spiritual example that I set for my children! What path would I set for my family to follow? And so, we left behind a people who, because they knew how to be friendly and practiced what appeared to be morally sound religious habits, had a form of godliness, but denied its power (2 Timothy 3:5). It was clear that they had lost the ability, and even perhaps the desire, to distinguish good from evil (Hebrews 5:13-14) They had forgotten what it meant to seek first God’s kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33). It was especially painful to leave behind our friends of 20 years, who had encouraged us to move over 400 miles to be with them and help build the Church in Delaware. They saw with their eyes, the spiritual condition of the Delaware Church, but their hearts were indifferent to the spiritual impotence of their fellowship. Setting aside the Christ-ordered priority of a relationship with God, they placed greater valuing in protecting and increasing their material possessions and their perceived social status within the local community. They had traded in Jesus’ dream for the American dream! Spiritual suicide indeed! Consider Abraham’s nephew, Lot. Lot, previously known to be a righteous man was lured by the opulence and wealth of Sodom and Gomorrah and chose to make his home there (Genesis 13). By choosing to reside within the comfort of a sinful city, Lot allowed the worldliness and sin around him to weaken his convictions and contaminate his faith. Despite being warned of its destruction, Lot lost his wife and sons-in-law when Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed because of his reluctance to leave behind the lifestyle to which he had become accustomed. Lot had gone from a man of conviction to a man who lived comfortably with worldliness and tolerance of sin. We began traveling two hours to visit various churches – the Philadelphia Church of Christ, DC Regional Church, and Montgomery County Church of Christ. With each disappointing visit, we realized that not only were we stranded in a spiritual wilderness, but so too were many of our churches. These Churches apparently bereft of any fixed biblical matching of life and sound doctrine, once vibrant, fruitful and full of zeal, were now lifeless, mere caricatures of a true church. They had lost their first love. The previous excited anticipation of meeting visitors and the warm enveloping fellowship of believers was now sadly absent. It was bitter-sweet for me to see, once again, friends I had known for the 27 years spent in the Church. Sweet because of memories of victorious times now in the distant past. Bitter because of the unrecognizable shell of religiousity that remained in the place of zealous relationships with God. Some still had a desire to do great things for God, but were surrounded by so many who had lost their passion for building the Kingdom. To their credit, they were committed to their congregation as evidenced by their consistent presence at Sunday services. And that was, for many, the ceiling of their spiritual ambition. To their shame their commitment did not exceed that of a committed churchgoer in the denominational world! Many attended because the congregation was now their “family church,” the church they grew up in spiritually. So, on further questioning, you would discover that these avid churchgoers on Sundays, often found it inconvenient to attend any other meetings of the body. They were no longer motivated by a passion for God or his Kingdom. Compare this to the attitude of Jesus of whom it was written “zeal for God’s house consumed him” (John 2:17).We attended the Church in Philadelphia and the DC Regional Church for months yet no one reached out to us, invited us over for a meal, or tried to disciple us out of our spiritual destitution. When we stopped attending these churches no one called to find out what had happened to us. “Back in the day” when someone was persevering through life’s challenges, other disciples would eagerly approach that disciple, Bible in hand, to find out how they could spur one another on (Hebrews 10:24-25). In days gone by, a disciple missing from the fellowship would be followed-up with by an entire Bible Talk (small Bible discussion group). The concerned disciples would call or visit, concerned for the spiritual condition of the heart of their brother or sister in Christ (Hebrews 3:12-14). “Back in the day” when I met people while out evangelizing, I would be proud and excited to invite them to church, eagerly inviting them to “come and see” a church like the church you read about in Acts 2:42-47. Sadly today, in many of our former fellowships, the love of discipleship has been replaced with legalism and selfishness. Many have lost Christ’s heart to be actively involved in others’ lives, helping them with scriptural instruction (Rom 15:14) with compassion for their spiritual condition (John 11:17-44). Now visitors can appear in the fellowship of these churches and leave at the end of service having been met by not a single member of the church. Disciples are no longer helping each other to obey Matthew 28:20. Instead, these disciples now wait to be approached for help, and many times are then unwilling to get involved. We had despaired of finding a fellowship of disciples reminiscent of the First Century Christians of Acts 2:42-47. In desperation for the truth, we began to listen to sermons online by Kip McKean of the City of Angels International Christian Church and were amazed at his sermons. We became aware that somewhere out there, was a church, once again sold-out for Christ and his mission. It had been such a long time since we had heard preaching so bold and full of conviction. One particular Sunday morning after many weeks of not attending any fellowship, our younger son, Kevyn, asked the question, “Why don’t we go to church anymore?” We were thoroughly convicted! We explained the importance of not just going to a “church,” but being a part of the true vine (John15) and being totally committed and obedient to the Word. We realized that we had to back up our words with action. Cheryl and I prayed fervently for an answer and within a few months, through the internet outreach of the International Christian Church we were directed to a couple fired-up for God and passionate about His Kingdom. and God had not abandoned us. He gave us, once again, the precious gift of true friendship and sincere discipleship. God sent us Andrew & Patrique Smellie. These ambassadors for Christ, with the help of 16 sold-out disciples planted the Washington DC International Christian Church in the summer of 2008. The Smellies helped to restore our walk with God and we have become one in heart and mind (Acts 4:32). Our closeness is based upon unity in the standard laid out in the scriptures. Cheryl and I are truly indebted to them for their love, patience, and sacrifice in rescuing us from certain eventual spiritual death and nursing us back to health like the good Samaritan bound up the wounds of a man beaten and helpless (Luke 10:25-37. Psalm 107:4-9 was a sustaining passage for me as I attempted to work my way out of my spiritual wasteland. “Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” God has rescued me and my family from spiritual hunger and thirst. Our lives were ebbing away, but now we eat and drink and are satisfied. I am so inspired by Cheryl’s love and devotion to helping build the women’s ministry and to see our marriage blossom. We are so proud of our sons, Kyle (15) and Kevyn (12) and am thrilled that Kevyn is already doing the character studies and looks forward to becoming a disciple. In escaping the spiritual wasteland, I had learned several valuable lessons:

1. You Need Humilty To Ask For Help

(Matthew 15:21-28) The act of humility is to seek help and is the initial key step. God wants to see your sincerity of heart and no one knows your struggle until you share it.

2. You Need Someone Spiritual To Help You

(Galatians 6:1-2) Someone who is spiritual will be able to help guide you out of the spiritual desert so you do not wander aimlessly in circles. “If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit.” Matthew 15:14

3. You Need To Treasure Your Relationship With God More Than Any Other

(Matthew 10:34-39) Relationships are great when they sharpen us, making us more effective for God (Proverbs 27:17) When they help us be unified (Psalm 133:1), when they refresh our hearts (Philemon 7), they are to be treasured. When they teach and disciple us to be better for God (Titus 2:1-8) they are priceless. But what happens when our relationships in the church cease to be spiritually based and become simply superficial social interactions? THey start to resemble relationships in school, at the gym, at your child’s PTA meetings, at your place of employment where discussions of classes and tests, sports, politics, fashion, the latest trends, and sometimes even religion are but a meaningless passing of time. These conversations are fine and have their place and value, but their purpose is for this world. They are great as a tool to help us relate to others. We need them so that we can become all things to all men to win as many as possible (1 Corinthians 9:19-23). But if our relationships in the church are devoid of biblical standards and truths, then these relationships will fail to spur us on toward love and good deeds. The vital importance of the Bible in our relationships with each other and in our mentorship of one another is clearly seen when, as disciples, we deviate from this absolutely pivotal basis for our lives. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), but the same may not be said of our leaders nor indeed of any man. We follow our leaders loyally and submissively as they follow Christ. “For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 10:33-11:1 When leadership strays from the standard set by Christ so many years ago on the day of Pentecost, the church is put at risk of being ravaged by the world. In the churches in Galatia, Paul was faced with a situation where disciples’ hearts were being pulled away from the standard of the gospel. These Christians followed men who convinced them to follow a “different gospel.” The standard was corrupted. Paul had to confront them on their error to dispel misconceptions and confusion (Galatians 1:6-9) which can so quickly damage our walk with God.

4. You Need To Be More Loyal To Christ and His Teachings Than To Any Church

Being loyal to a church is not necessarily synonymous with being loyal to Christ. If you are a disciple, you made a decision that simply stated “Jesus is Lord” . You vowed to be devoted to his church (Ephesians 5:23). Christ would be your head and you would be a part of his body. Christ’s role would be that of a husband and the Church’s role that of a bride. That is Christ’s perfect plan. But what if the church is not the perfect, loyal wife and her eyes begin to stray? What if the Church is no longer devoted to her husband? What if the church becomes blatantly, brazenly unfaithful? Many today are faced with this dilemma and are gritting thier teeth in a difficult situation. They have invested so much time and effort in helping to build their church. They have made sacrifices, delayed plans and personal dreams for the betterment of God’s Kingdom. This is to be commended as God’s Kingdom and his righteousness must be first (Matthew 6:33). Many wives persist in a marriage where they are not only unfulfilled, but the relationship itself has become a threat to their very life. Such is the case in the so-called “Battered Wife Syndrome.” Upon close scrutiny, there is much that we can learn from considering the dynamics of the situation of a woman trapped in an abusive marriage. To understand the outcome of this marriage, it is important to understand the basic techniques employed by the abusive husband.

Isolation is a fundamental key for the success of the ultimate plan to rob the abused wife of all dignity, self-esteem, and even the ability to think for herself. The abusive husband first of all convinces his wife that his love for her is all-inclusive and all-encompassing thereby negating the need for her to have other people in her life. By being overly attentive, the husband’s behavior more than reinforces that he is all that his wife will ever need. The husband will become manipulative in suggesting that any desire on the part of his wife to have social interaction with anyone other than himself is disloyal. He will see this as a hurtful declaration that she does not truly love him nor appreciate how much he loves her. Seemingly good intentions are clearly used to deceive and manipulate. Isolation, once well-established, sets the stage for the abusive husband to debase his wife. Without the support of family and friends and their objectivity, the wife begins to believe the demeaning statements made to and about her by her husband. Episodes of verbal and/or physical abuse escalate. The wife lacks the normal response of growing alarm, because by this time she truly believes the things that she hears on a daily basis and lacks the objectivity of others in her life. She is made to believe that, because of her woeful inadequacies in all areas, she has brought upon herself, the deserved abuse from her husband. Her unacceptable physical appearance, and her deplorable stupidity, she is made to believe warrant the frequent verbal beratement and even beatings. Because the episodes of abuse are interspersed with suitable bouts of seemingly sincere, but short-lived remorse on the part of the husband, his perverted version of the truth seems plausible to the beaten-down wife. Because during these times he reiterates his love for his wife along with thhe regret that she continually forces him to treat her as horribly as he surely must, the illusion of a loving husband is maintained for a wife whose thinking has become twisted in an altered reality. Now completely cut off from any support system, it does indeed appear to this down-trodden woman with shattered self-esteem and battered self-image, that the only person capable of loving her is indeed her husband and her marriage is as good as it gets. This atrocious situation quickly becomes her normal. The wife eventually believes that she is incapable of even thinking for herself and in time will cease to try, relying solely on the words of her husband, most times abusive, but sometimes falsely reassuring. The husband will often malign the wife’s family and former friends thereby ensuring that his wife will lose all desire to reach out to them. What is the eventual outcome of these marriages? Some wives will retain the fortitude and mental will-power to escape with their lives but unfortunately, most will not. 90% of all homicides of women are committed by their male significant others, and of these, 65-75% have a prior history of domestic violence with an abusive mate. What parallel does this have in the Spiritual realm? Consider our own personal story where we were physically isolated from a spiritually sound church. We were outside the reaches of a church that could help us in our walk with God and so it became unclear even to our own son whether or not we were still with God. Also consider any church member who has allowed the direction of his walk with God to be dictated by the will and opinions of a human church leader without the use or application of the scriptures. Is this church member, well-meaning though he might be, not victim to the same devastating effects of isolation? Let us follow the natural progression of this pattern. There is no scriptural basis for the Churchgoer’s life, and doctrinal confusion very quickly follows, while he is lulled into a dullness of heart and darkened thinking. Without the constant comparison of life to biblical doctrine, strengthened by fellowship with like-minded Christians, and without discipleship where the scriptures are taught with conviction and love, the heart of the Churchgoer eventually becomes lukewarm, comfortable to blend in with the world around. The voice of God is quieter in his life and so he believes Satan’s lies, which, after all, do not seem so bad. The rest of the world seems to be doing well enough. Is this not this isolation from righteousness that resulted in the disaster that befell Lot and his family? Eventually the Churchgoer can be persuaded that convictions which rock the boat are actually ungodly. Just like the battered wife who will eventually lose the ability to think for herself, the isolated Churchgoer loses the ability to discern what is best. The loyalty of the churchgoer to his human leader becomes increasingly important to him because, after all, this leader might be the only source of reassurance for the Churchgoer that he is okay with God. Scriptures are no longer studied in depth, and if they are, they are found to be in conflict with the churchgoer’s life. The church leader becomes the source of all comfort, knowledge, and validation, the willing object of idolatry. Just as the abused wife believes that her husband is all that she needs, so too does the churchgoer begin to accept that his Church leaders opinion is synonimous with the will of God. The resulting damage to the spiritual well-being of the churchgoer is as devastating as the homicide of the battered woman – spiritual death! What led to his demise? The principles are the same as with the battered wife – isolation, misinformation, a perverted standard, and the absence of an appropriate support system.Being the leader of an autonomous church increases the leader’s susceptibility to idolatry. Without the objective biblical input or influence of fellow church leaders, it is easier for this autonomous leader to see himself as the head of his Church. He can become quickly obsessed with holding on to his position at all costs, pride dictating that he limit any intrusion into his leadership. The church members become the church leader’s markers of success rather than children of God whom they have been called to guide spiritually in accordance with the scriptures. Their position of importance in the life of the members becomes more important than the truth or a biblical standard, and just as the abusive husband will decide what his wife is to believe and with whom she is to have contact, this Church leader will direct his membership to have no contact with anyone whose convictions about living by the scriptures calls into question his own lack of conviction. Fingers are pointed at individuals striving to uphold the standard of the Bible, in an effort to discredit them, lest the truth of their convictions become widely known. This is reminiscent of the way in which the abusive husband will malign his wife’s relatives in an attempt to prevent her from turning to them for objectivity and proper perspective on her destructive relationship. Just as the abusive husband appears in public to be the perfect husband, so too can friendly but unspiritual churchgoers appear to be close to God, but only for a time. It does not take very long for the lack of spiritual fruit and the rising incidents of rampant unrepentant sin within a congregation, to tell a deeper truth. The inwardly decaying state of a church which has “cut itself off from the vine” (John 15:4-6) becomes as obvious as the sickly pungent scent of rotting fruit. Just as frightening as the statistics of fatality in battered women, the spiritual death rate from this situation is predictably close to 100%.In 2 Corinthians 11:1-6, Paul challenges the Corinthian church not to be led astray from their sincere and pure devotion to Christ. Are you seeking the kingdom first? (Matthew 6:33) Are you making disciples and teaching them to obey everything? (Matthew 28:19-20) Do you love God more than any other person or thing? (Luke14:26) What are you willing to tolerate in your life and in those around you for the sake of personal comfort and worldly advancement? It is not about who is leading or how many are following, but about what is right and holding to biblical standards (1 Corinthians 11:2, Mark 7:6-9). Let us be careful not to set aside the Word of God in order to observe our own traditions, feelings or opinions! We are grateful to the Smellies and the vision they have given us to dream again. I no longer believe that my best years are behind me, but look forward to every new exciting chapter eagerly turning the pages. It is with both sadness and joy, that we say our farewells to Andrew & Patrique, who have been set apart for the work in Johannesburg, South Africa. Their sacrifice and labor for the Lord has been blessed by God and he continues to add to our number, entrusting the souls of men and women to our care. We are grateful as well to have been friends with Cassel Spence, Erica Felder, Jonathan Pedican, Dejaimenay Stephenson, Earl Jones, and April Ryles who have all made decisions to move to Los Angeles with the Smellies to be trained to be part of the Johannesburg mission team. God willing, this group of eight (lovingly but appropriately labelled as “The Evangelistic Eight” in a phto album depicting the victories in Washington D.C.) will plant the church in Johannesburg in 2011. As a church here in Washington, D.C., we are ecstatic to be part of sending out a handful of sold-out disciples to one of the neediest cities in the world. On behalf of the Washington, DC International Christian Church, my wife and I would like to express our love and admiration to the Smellies and these brothers and sisters. These eight men and women of God, because of their willingness to go anywhere, do anything, and give up everything for the cause of Christ bring light to a dark world. And to God be the glory!
Kenneth & Cheryl Chin

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